Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
