you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
