Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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