he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
