You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Is Oprah even human
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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