Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i came on her dog
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
