he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
