hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
