why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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