Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
