I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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