Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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