Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
