Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
