he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
