There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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