Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
