You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
