No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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