just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
