His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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