So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
