let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
