just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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