whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
