Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
