and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
