actually, I'm a sock model
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
