Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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