the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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