Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
