Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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