Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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