If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
