I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
