does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
