I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
