I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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