I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
