you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
