Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
