On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she looked like the before picture.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
