i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
