There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
