So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I have post one night stand depression
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