ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize
