i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
