handjob tips. give me some.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize