Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
