He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
