So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
