Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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