Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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