God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
