matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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