I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
