I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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