Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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