Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
