Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I bet he comes in French.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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