okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
