She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
