if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
