Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
